Keep It Heavy

I am one of the people who has basically decided that there are two types of metal (mainly due to my inability to take the genre particuarly seriously). There's embarrassing shit where people run around in skin tight leotards (emphasis on the 'tard) and squeeze their nuts that little bit tighter to get out every annoying yelp possible. Try to tell me you didn't get on that "The Darkness are here to save rock 'n' roll" bandwagon. Yeah, I did too and I still haven't forgiven myself. Then there's the simple, cool heavy stuff that Metallica used to make and Slayer seem to be unable to do anything but. There's also the area of bizarre mutant metal bands that I also have a soft spot for, but I have a hard time thinking of them as just straight-up metal. Slayer released a new record about two months ago and I just picked it up the other day. They are pretty much the only band that manages consistently please me by just releasing the same record over and over. What else was I expecting? Slayer goes techno? No, I was expecting Slayer to put their heads to their shoes and just let rip as they do every time they decide to make a record. Fuck Norma Jean, Job For A Cowboy and all that trite secretly revivalism crap. You might think ripping off Botch is a cool thing to do, but I beg to differ. Slayer are going on senile and they're still melting faces.

Slayer - Jihad
Slayer - Skeleton Christ

P.S. I saw the movie "Hard Candy" a few weeks back and thought it was one of the most terrible movies I've ever seen. Almost as bad as The Passion. Never have I seen a castration scene where I've actually had the urge to yell "for fuck's sake, cut his balls off already". The characters were far from believable, and for a movie which is almost completely dependent on the dialogue, this is not a good thing. Plus directors should have figured out by now that casting 19 year olds as 14 year olds doesn't cut it for anyone with a vague understanding of the visual concept of age. Why am I telling you this? Well basically I want my money back. I only managed to get as far as the directors agents. If someone could get me the directors e-mail, I'd be very appreciative. The way I see it, I've got £8 coming to me.